With a Click of a Mouse

A group of women posing for a photo.

Jenna, local mom who lost her twin boys when she went into pre-mature labor, found healing and hope by reconnecting with her labor and delivery nurse, Amanda. It all started with a simple thank you note on Jenna’s blog: Dear Nurse A. By celebrating her caregiver, Jenna continued her journey of healing—physically, mentally and spiritually.

This Doctors’ Day, you can write a note to a caregiver who has made a lasting impact on your life. Write Your Caregiver a Note Today

Scraping across my desk, guided by my fingertips and sweating palms, the computer mouse made its way across the screen and little did I know that the single click of a button would bring me a peace I longed for, for two years. I hit publish to ‘Dear Nurse A,’ a letter to my delivery nurse that was long overdue. After losing our identical twins to pre-mature labor, flash backs of our delivery and the weeks following haunted me, and as I got stuck within each memory I noticed there was a light always in the room. Soon after publishing the letter on my blog, I’d find that my delivery nurse, who I thought had a name that began with the letter A, was actually named Amanda and she was the light, my guardian angel that God placed beside me as I frantically entered a new stage of life – life after loss.

Amanda was found twenty-four hours after I published the blog and to my surprise, she remembered our story and had always wondered what happened to me following our meeting on September 19, 2014. She agreed to meet with me and every emotion took over my body as I prepared to see her face to face two years later.

“Will I make her feel uncomfortable?” “Will I recognize her since it’s been so long?” “Will she be able to answer my questions to help fill the gaps that my memory is trying to protect me from?” Questions stirred as I made my way to the very same place we had met under such terrifying circumstances. Instead of screams filling the air, we were given a quiet space to talk, gather our thoughts and spend quality time together to sort out any questions I had from that sad, warm September morning.

A wave of emotions took over and I felt like I could finally release everything I was holding onto as Amanda and I hugged for the very first time. Instantly, I felt safe again because she was someone who actually walked through those hard moments of delivering and saying goodbye to my infant sons with me. She was the only person besides myself who held our boys and loved on Grady as he was still alive, and those facts alone created a bond between the two of us that words will never be able to describe.

A list of questions poured from my mouth: questions about the boys and their care and how she remembered our story. But to my surprise, Amanda wasn’t the boys’ nurse. She was mine. For some reason, I pictured her as a baby nurse when in fact, she never left my side. My whole memory of September 19 is that of Grady and Ryder and Amanda’s memory is me, my health and my safety. She explained that she was with me during surgery and following surgery. She literally was the one who fought for my well-being and knowing that now means the world to me. To know that when I wasn’t able to advocate for myself, Amanda was able to step in and care for me in ways I didn’t know until our meeting two years later.

[Video] "Dear Nurse A"

I’m so grateful for all Amanda did for me during my delivery, and I’m proud of myself for hitting publish to a letter I had doubts would even make its way to her. After hitting publish, a lifelong friendship was born and Amanda and I will be forever connected. Since our meeting, Amanda and I have had the opportunity to spend the boys’ second birthday together, check in on one another and stay in touch. I’m currently expecting our rainbow baby and Amanda has been just a simple call away. Who knew a simple click of a computer mouse and a letter labeled, “Dear Nurse A,” would open a new chapter to our story and guide me back to the light that was in our room that warm September morning

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