You are now attempting to tell us, your loved ones, something that we already know. Our life will significantly improve if we lose weight. Second, you’re about to discuss a very personal and private issue. And, finally, losing weight is probably the hardest thing we’ve ever tried to do in our lives, and it is the source of tremendous frustration.
We have some helpful tips, along with advice from our board certified general and bariatric surgeon Venkatasubramanian Kanthimathinathan, MD (Dr. Venkat), on how to approach the topic of obesity with the people you care about.
Evaluate your relationship with the person you are about to talk with.
- Have you had such personal conversations before?
- If so, what was your loved one’s reaction?
- Can you be sure that you’re not going to come off as condescending or a know it all?
Before you approach your friend, imagine the situation if it were reversed. Would you appreciate a friend’s advice, or would you find it intrusive or uncomfortable? Treat your friend as you would want to be treated and approach them in that way. Let them know that you are concerned and not judging them. “Assure them that you will be as helpful as possible. Even if you cannot attend support meetings with them, an open ear is always appreciated,” Dr. Venkat advises. “Trust me, we all can use as much support as possible, even if it is a telephone call. Above all, remember that only your loved ones can make the final decision. No diet, exercise routine, surgery or program is going to help if we don’t choose to help ourselves.” And that’s your goal… to get us to help ourselves. With your help, success is a real possibility.
Here are 5 suggestions to help the conversation
Know the Boundaries
Only you know how far you can delve into someone’s personal life. “Be extra sensitive so that you can detect even the slightest feeling of your loved one being uncomfortable and stop the conversation,” Dr. Venkat explains.
Approach Them in a Truthful and Honest Way
As I said, we know losing weight is good for us, it’s just the past failures and frustration that gets in our way. Let them know how much you care about them. “Emphasize that this discussion has nothing to do with how they look,” says Dr. Venkat. “Remind them that they are living for you as well as themselves, and that you want them around as long as possible.”
Provide Information. Not Diet Suggestions
Use the Internet or your library to research the benefits of weight-loss and provide your loved one with the studies to back up your advice.
Be Supportive
If you’re going to go this far, then you should be prepared to go all the way. Don’t stop at “I’m here for you,” or, “if you need anything call me.” Go further. Attend those weight-loss meetings with them. Put yourself on the same nutrition and exercise program that they may go on.
Never Suggest a Diet or Even Surgery
“Look into different options with them after you’ve broached the subject,” Dr. Venkat advises. “If you suggest something and it doesn’t work, you most likely have set yourself up to be blamed for any failure.” Let us make our own decisions, while providing a helping hand along the way.
Find the Right Weight-Loss Solutions
We understand these types of conversation can be difficult, but we want to empower you with information. The Bariatric and Metabolic Institute at AdventHealth is here to support you every step of the way. We offer medical and surgical weight loss solutions. Visit MyBariatricCare.com to learn more about our program or to make an appointment.
